I wanted to take this opportunity to explain what happened the other day and to thank the many amazing people out there on the social networks who offered such amazing words of support, friendship and help when I needed it most. Especially @katylindemann, @RedFraggs and @Marktylerb who made enough sense to get me to the police and hospital eventually.
I am hoping that through the process of writing this it will help to make some sense of what was an extraordinary event in my life. Put very simply a wonderful evening out with friends was interrupted by 2 men attacking me infront of my front door as soon as I had stepped out of a cab. It was a brutal attack from behind so it was hard to see who my attackers were, but I was hit repeatedly while on the ground and when I got to my feet. It lasted too long, and was too intense to make any sense – if they had wanted my money and phone – they could have tried going through my pockets but they seemed to have a darker purpose.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Help me. Bang. Dark concrete, blood, grit, eyes straining, fists clenched, bang. Pain shooting, fear, terrifying, pain, lungs bursting, fight, bang, the sound is my head being hit, the pain will come but not yet, have to fight, have to keep alive, have to see if there is a knife, is this a dream, bang, blood, grit, concrete, not my hands – I need them to play guitar, blood, bang, kick, fight, rage, stay down, get up, hit, bang, blood, grit, pain, silence. Cold. Cold. Blood. Get inside, lie down. Vomit, blood, tears, pain, rage, fear. It is a dream. I am sleeping. I am awake. Vomit, blood, where? Who? Why? Need help. No phone. No glasses. Eyes stinging. Lie down. Sleep. Need to stay awake. How did I get inside my flat? What has happened? Is this a dream? Blood, pain, fear. Need to tell someone. Tweet. Rage, pain, fear, panic. Sleep. Did I pass out or did I sleep? Police, hospital, snow, children, tears. Xmas.
Hopefully I will move on and not be terrified everytime I walk down my road.
Hopefully I will have my faith restored in the nature of human beings.
Hopefully I will stop waking up in a sweat.
Hopefully one day I will have Christmas again.
Hopefully one day my children will understand.
Hopefully one day I will be me again.